Wednesday, March 31 ♥

I just woke up and i'm so sleepy and i think i'm gonna get back to sleep soon. Don't ask me why i woke up in the 1st place.

Supposed to be a short week this week but it seems long for me anyway coz partly i've got nothing to look forward to during weekends. No plans have been firmed up yet coz i hate early planning, and then cock up. so whoever calls and ask me out, a day before or so, then most likely i'll go.

Some invitation's been going around now, like a ccpe gathering, but i cant be bothered hahah. i looked at the invitation list and i know very few of them. i think i'm still very anti-social. wait, it's not like i'm anti-social, but i hate huge gatherings. I'd rather hang out in small groups amongst the closest people, or, can be new people but 1 on 1. eh sounds like a date. but anyway, there's like over 30 of them invited and i bet on the actual gathering itself, you'll see smaller sub groups. confirm one la.

but as of now, only 2 of them rsvp-ed. and they are together. so i think i'm gonna suggest to them lupakan sajer, gi dating sua. hahah. UNLESS there's nobody else who rsvp-ed then i might join the 2 of them and be the walking bed or something. ok waddehell jer.

i think i'm sleepy and i want to have sweet dreams. so, goodnight..

PS: if hady's a wimp, then a wimp is what?
arhh k k enuff. crashed.





I seldom have kids in the school come looking for me, well this time round, a boy was asking where i was. Like waddehell for?

And -_-, he was asking for a safety pin, his hands held tight to his pants.

This is not the first time. Recently i was doing class relief, and another boy was soo playful that he ran around the class,and i dont know what else he did that left a huge hole below the zipper. I had to walk him all the way back to the staff room to get him enough pins to cover up the hole. and just imagine the way he walked. and obviously he was so embarrased that he had to cover it up real hard to avoid me from looking hahahahah. oh well.

I am now tyring to come out with a few draft designs for a camp t shirt. no idea really. googling for ideas but all i can think of right now is an image of a tree, that forms the shape of a boy. i donno why. all this brainwashing that's been going on in the school about being the niche in environmental education have made me this dope. Not that it's a bad thing, but i donno how to fuse it. and if you could take a look at the image below, that's how it looks like.








Seriously doped.

I promised myself that i'll come out with at least one superb looking design by end of today. All the best to me.

hmm maybe i should just include that 'tree boy' in.

Tuesday, March 30 ♥

I love short naps, but i hate it when people keep coming into my room to search for things while i'm asleep. If i'm dead asleep tkpe tau but it's during these precious naps that i had to get distracted then i cannot take it. Sometimes i even wonder why so many things are kept in my room. and for some reason, i'm pretty sure i dont have such a thing in my room, and they still insist on searching for it. "They" refers to anybody in my family haha.

So i woke up and walk out of my room and down the hallway when i heard my brother jamming with his guitar. Goshh he's sounding more like a guitar god now sometimes i wonder how he picked it up.

and that left me thinking that i should start being good at something. like anything. I feel like taking up proper piano lessons. First of all, i've always learnt to play it by ear, and i dont even know what key i'm playing. It can be fun at times, but i guess it's a good start for people like me who constantly have new melodies in mind. Most often when that happens, i'd record down my own voice singing that melody. Then i'll try sing out the whole song, and then get on the keyboard and play some basic shit just to support the melody. Otherwise, i can be the next Lady Gaga.

I can never get myself proper on guitars, i dont know why. i learnt the chords on the last fret and then i gave up hahah. i wish someone can give me proper guitar lessons now. no, not my brother.

Now i wish i had my own orchestra. I want to arrange my own music and do some pop classical, or rock classical would be nice too. but that can never happen. i'm bad at theories. unless the people in my orchestra play by ear too. i hate sightreading.

I've tried working on electronic studios to compose music. It sounds patchy coz obviously the sounds are not pure.

I intend to get this 9 track recorder. It does multi track recording. easier to capture live sound. just mic it up and do the recording track by track, easier like tt. ok i dont intend to sound like a sound engineer but i hope i know what i'm doing and not like macam paham hahah.

I can have no problems at music arrangements but i have one problem. I can NEVER be good at lyrics. i'm not a writer. well i tried but nah, just not my forte. i need help. someone please help me pen it down and i promise it will sound better than how Miley Cyrus would sing it.

But on top of all these, i have yet to master D'Voice. Still very very far from Celine Dion hahaha.





I could have stopped and just shouted at the bloody taxi driver for turning in the traffic junction while i was crossing the road and while the green light was still on. I swear his ears will bleed to death.

And thank god i'm still alive.

I'm seriously trying very hard to suppress my hunger each day (well only been 2 days now) and i wonder how much more i can go. The smell of waffles would usually make me stop by and get one to satisfy my craze over it. But not today, where i'd purposely walk into the shopping center, hoping to bring back home something, or rather, walk home munching something. But what did i get for myself. A pack of facial cotton pad. THAT'S IT. I can't believe it i had to just browse through the shelves to look out for newly stocked snacks and such. and pretend that it didnt call for my attention. its making me think that shops like that are haunted and spooky, where the snacks are always out to woo my name like "hannahhh..... hannnahhhhhhh".

errrrrrrr....goosebumps.

The day has passed quite quickly thou. Coz i'm glad that the mess that piled up at work today are now gone. Well usually i'd sit all day and not achieve anything at all. i shud give myself some credits. damn shud have gotten myself the waffles just now.

And i seriously need to give myself a little more credit coz i havent even mention a single line about _ _ _ _ today. I think i'm tired going over something which obviously wont become reality. ahah. anw, just for fun, just for laugh, nothing wrong right.

I feel like writing a song. but most of my songs sounds cocky. all i talk about is pain and a broken heart. any ideas what i should be writing about? and mind you i seldom write it in English, all my songs are in malay. Jiwa melayu kental beb.

Tonight, oh tonight, probably i'm gonna blog again. ahahahah.

Oh, i look funny with the sausage in my mouth. GARRGHH! Stop eating!!!





So now what do you want. Getting a random sms from you is not funny. I presume you just got into a fight with your girlfriend again and that is why you're trying to get in touch with me now, after ignoring me like as if i'm so desperate for your company.

In the first place i have no idea why i even bothered to entertain you in such a way. (ok probably because i really was, after that catastrophic incident). You're not important to me at all. You freaking have a girlfriend to entertain, and you freaking gonna marry her next year. so why bother bothering me when i'm so bothered by this botherful shit.

Ive never really gotten myself into such nonsense until last month. I totally admit that i've been a total ass to even have the guts to do such a thing. In the first place it wasnt going anywhere coz we know that you already have a goal in mind, whereas for me i was still searching for my lost soul. errghh cliche. and so i thought you ignoring me was the perfect thing to do, so you can commit yourself to your wife-to-be, whereas i can go relek one corner (thinking of hady that is hahah ok jokes aside)

you obviously felt like falling back on someone else coz something bad just happened. Like when you mentioned "things hasnt been going as what i expected".

Blueerghh ok i think there's no point babbling about this now coz i can expect what will happen next. So let's just see. I'm not gonna entertain you like how i did before. muahaahahah. i've got better things to think about and better things to look forward to.

Right Hady?

Monday, March 29 ♥

I've been smiling and giggling to myself all the way back home, coz for obvious reasons, HADY PROPOSED ME!!!

Have i ever imagined that happening? erm yes?
Well, even if he did not mean it, so what? What's more important is that your day feels complete and fruity and flowery and whatever else.

UNTIL...

My ring dropped into the toilet bowl. Well i was drinking too much water today thinking i could detoxify myself from all the unnecessary food consumption. Visited the ladies a couple of times, and the last visit had to result in a ring getting flushed down. I feel pathetic partly because i did not want to pick it up. First of all, it's rather cheap, and i've only worn it twice. So it doesnt really matter. But still, it looks unique, and i know i can always buy it again.

But on a much much lighter note, how could the ring possibly slip off my finger? and SO, IT MEANS, I've slimmed down by a milimetre! WOOHOO!! But not to get too hyped up yet, coz there's a couple of inch more to go. I look like a sack. whatever tt means.

Enough about that, i think hady is too cute. and too sweet too. ive always thought he's just like any other random mat who loves to sing and play the guitar, and write corny songs, but i guess i've changed my mind now =) he gave me his wings and while i fly, he drops. poor boy.

Well we havent really met, but he proposed. i think he's crazy.

Are you ok, honey?





And so let's just see how often i'm going to update this blog, after 2 years of not revisiting it back again. What's new, most of my posts are often about me coming back into the blog after a long long time. and next thing u noe, the next update's gonna be in about 6 mths time minumum?

So why am i doing this, is becoz i've been pestered and accused of being so free. (HELL YEAH I AM) I've always thought that blogging is the toughest thing to do. coz it makes you sound and look dumb, with brainless posts, that only urself can understand, and nobody else does. (WHATS THE POINT?)

However, if it wasnt for Mr Long Time Crush "who checked me out while eating satay-look-and-sound-alike", i wouldnt have even bothered to check out my dead blog in the 1st place. and so why'd u even bother scratching your head guessing who tt guy is. coz it doesnt matter. coz this blog is around coz only i'd noe who its abt. k i'm getting too confused.

I'm hungry. and if that's what lifes gonna be for me from now onwards, then i can forget about dating the Real Mr Long Time Crush. But wait in the 1st place he checked me out while i was hungry wasnt it. BUERRGHHH. I'm tired being senseless.

When can i ever sound intellectual? Like discussing on how organic compounds are formed? hell no.
It's ok, i'll remain like this.

So let's hope by tonight i feel like blogging again, and if i really do, that's a very good sign that something great out of something good's gonna happen, soon?

Till, TONIGHT.