Sunday, April 11 ♥

"Lets send the love shock, to the top!"

Well that's a line from the pre-chorus of Zai's 'Love Shocked' that i was helping him with last night for his school project. All back up vocals done and showcase will be on wed at his school. Hope he can schedule us for a 1 time rehearsal, coz i havent met with any of his other musicians before. Otherwise, gotta just hit the studio and do it spontaneously. how possible. scary.

I borrowed the cd from him and watched back the gig we had back then @ TJC. That was like in 2005. One word. Awful. I cringed throughout the whole video for the fact that, 1st, i looked horrible. 2nd, i didnt know i was such a bimbo. 3rd, we sounded really bad, and i sounded worst. I could hardly understand what i was singing. Wah damn bad. I always thought we were good. Apparently, not at all.

But for the fact that we were so pathetic but could AT LEAST perform somewhere, that's good enough. I didn't know we had so many songs last time. Definitely we were so cute and i miss the guys. If we can do a remake on those songs, would be wonderful.

Being a performer is never easy. You always need to appeal to the masses and perform songs that are familiar, popular on the radio, and easy listening. I'm never the sort who will put such songs on repeat, or even have them on my playlist. Now i'm struggling. I'm practically downloading songs that are currently in their top 40s just to keep myself updated, and hoping i can easily sing along to it if there's such request.

With this updated playlist, none are my favourites. err except for Adam Lambert's 'Whataya Want From Me'. Yar that's all. So listening to good korean songs all these while werent that bad afterall hahah.

Sidetrack, i've been worrying about something. I don't know if it's worthwhile to even worry about such a thing. Is it that important afterall. I feel like as if i'm back at the same phase of life, like in the past, where i'm free to do my own things, free to talk to whoever i want, free to be with whoever i want, free to go wherever i want. I'm pretty much so adapted to this now that, for a moment, i ponder why am i still so worried.

Could it be the feeling of security that i was so used to? Or could it possibly be the sense of loyalty for someone. Where you know there will be no worries, and where you pretty much know how's life gonna be. And it's so devastating to know that you were actually clinging to false hopes and empty silly dreams.

Maybe it's too early to think about it now. I still have this hope crying inside. But i'm afraid 'hopes' can do the same shit to you. I seriously don't know what to expect now.

I need to prepare for the worst. Wait, i think i have. I'm already up on my feet, and walking, running. It's time for self-defense. Say no to cheaters. My loyalty is worth another loyal soul.